Porn Addiction Treatment in San Diego

Understanding Porn Addiction

Pornography is more accessible today than at any point in human history. What once required deliberate effort to obtain now appears with a few taps on a smartphone. For most people, occasional pornography use doesn’t cause problems. But for some men, what begins as casual use evolves into a compulsive pattern that dominates their thoughts, consumes their time, and damages their relationships.

If you’re reading this page, you likely fall into the latter category. Perhaps you’ve tried to stop and couldn’t. Perhaps your partner discovered your use and gave you an ultimatum. Perhaps you’ve noticed that pornography no longer satisfies you the way it once did, yet you can’t seem to stop seeking it out. Perhaps you’re spending hours each day viewing pornography while other parts of your life deteriorate.

At Intrapsychic in San Diego, Dr. James Reavis and his team have treated hundreds of men struggling with problematic pornography use over the past 25 years. We understand that porn addiction is rarely just about pornography—it’s almost always about something deeper.

Signs of Problematic Pornography Use

Not everyone who views pornography has a problem. The question isn’t how much you use or what type you view—it’s whether pornography is causing problems in your life and whether you feel unable to stop despite wanting to. Consider these signs:

Behavioral Patterns:

• Spending increasing amounts of time viewing pornography

• Viewing pornography at work, in public places, or in risky situations

• Choosing pornography over real-life sexual opportunities or relationships

• Lying about or hiding your pornography use from partners or family

• Using pornography as your primary coping mechanism for stress, boredom, loneliness, or anxiety

• Finding yourself seeking more extreme or novel content to achieve the same arousal

• Multiple failed attempts to cut back or quit

Life Impact:

• Sexual dysfunction in intimate relationships (erectile difficulties, delayed ejaculation, decreased attraction to real partners)

• Relationship conflict, decreased intimacy, or loss of trust with your partner

• Decreased productivity at work or school due to time spent on pornography

• Sleep disruption from late-night or early-morning pornography use

• Social isolation or withdrawal from activities you once enjoyed

• Financial problems from paid pornography subscriptions or related expenses

Emotional Consequences:

• Shame, guilt, or self-loathing after viewing pornography

• Feeling like you’re living a double life

• Depression or anxiety related to your pornography use

• Recognition that your behavior conflicts with your values

• Feeling trapped or unable to control your urges

• Irritability or agitation when unable to access pornography

Escalation:

• Needing more frequent or longer sessions to feel satisfied

• Seeking increasingly extreme content

• Crossing boundaries you previously held (content types, risk level, time spent)

• Engaging in related behaviors like cybersex, cam sites, or sexting

If several of these signs resonate with you, professional treatment can help. Porn addiction doesn’t resolve through willpower, internet filters, or accountability apps alone—though these tools can be useful supplements to therapy.

Why Traditional Approaches Often Fail

Many men have tried to quit pornography before seeking professional help. Perhaps you’ve:

• Installed blocking software, only to find workarounds

• Joined online support groups that provided temporary motivation

• Made promises to your partner after being discovered

• Tried the “cold turkey” approach multiple times

• Read self-help books or watched videos about “rebooting”

• Experienced success for days or weeks before relapsing

These approaches address the behavior but ignore the underlying causes. It’s like treating a fever without addressing the infection causing it. The fever might temporarily reduce, but it returns because the source remains.

At Intrapsychic, we take a different approach. We ask: Why did pornography become so important to you in the first place? What emotional need does it meet? What are you escaping from when you turn to pornography?

Our Attachment-Based Approach to Porn Addiction

Phase 1: Accountability and Pattern Recognition

Treatment begins with honest, direct work on the behavior itself:

Full Acknowledgment – No excuses, no minimization. You view pornography compulsively, it’s causing problems, and change requires acknowledging that reality completely.

Understanding Your Cycle – What triggers pornography use? Stress at work? Arguments with your partner? Boredom? Loneliness? Shame about past use? We map your specific cycle.

Identifying Cognitive Distortions – “It’s not really cheating,” “I’ll stop tomorrow,” “This isn’t hurting anyone,” “I deserve this release,” “Just one more time.” We challenge these justifications.

Developing Interruption Strategies – What are your early warning signs? What can you do in those critical moments before the urge overwhelms you? How can you change your environment to reduce triggers?

Building New Coping Skills – If pornography is your primary tool for managing difficult emotions, what healthier alternatives can we develop?

Phase 2: Understanding the Root Causes

Once you have some behavioral control, we move into deeper psychological work. This is where lasting change happens. Using attachment theory and the Adult Attachment Inventory, we explore:

• Early Attachment Experiences – What was your relationship with your primary caregivers? Did you experience consistent love and support, or was care unpredictable, absent, or conditional?

• Childhood Trauma – Did you experience abuse, neglect, loss, or witness violence? How did these experiences shape your beliefs about yourself and relationships?

• Shame and Inadequacy – Many men with porn addiction carry deep-seated beliefs that they’re unlovable, inadequate, or unworthy. Where did these beliefs originate?

• Intimacy Deficits – Pornography provides the illusion of sexual connection without the vulnerability of real intimacy. Why does genuine intimacy feel threatening or unavailable?

Example: A man who experienced emotional neglect as a child learned that his needs don’t matter and that he must manage difficult feelings alone. As an adult, pornography becomes his self-soothing mechanism. Until he addresses the childhood wound, pornography will continue serving this function.

Phase 3: Healing and Rebuilding

The final phase focuses on:

• Processing Past Pain – Revisiting painful experiences in a safe therapeutic environment.

• Correcting Childhood Beliefs – Recognizing that what happened to you wasn’t your fault; releasing decades of misplaced shame.

• Building Emotional Capacity – Learning to tolerate difficult emotions without escaping into compulsive behavior.

• Developing Real Intimacy – Rebuilding sexual and emotional connection with your partner or preparing for future healthy relationships.

The Role of Group Therapy

Group therapy is a powerful component of porn addiction treatment. In group sessions with other men facing similar struggles:

• You Realize You’re Not Alone – The shame that surrounds porn addiction thrives in secrecy. Group breaks that isolation.

• You Learn from Others’ Insights – One man’s realization about his triggers often unlocks understanding for others.

• You Practice Vulnerability – Sharing honestly with other men builds the capacity for authentic emotional connection.

• You Receive Gentle Accountability – Group members help each other recognize rationalizations.

• You Witness Recovery – Seeing other men change provides hope and practical guidance.

What About Your Partner?

If you’re in a relationship, your pornography use has likely affected your partner deeply. Partners often experience betrayal, loss of trust, and trauma. While your treatment focuses on your recovery, we can also:

• Provide guidance on how to talk to your partner about treatment.

• Offer referrals for partner support or couples therapy.

• Help you understand the impact of your behavior on your partner.

• Support you in rebuilding trust over time.

Addressing Common Concerns

“Isn’t pornography normal? Everyone watches it.” Many people view pornography occasionally without problems. But if it’s consuming hours of your day, damaging your relationships, or making you feel trapped, it is a compulsion that needs treatment.

“Can I ever view pornography again?” Our goal isn’t necessarily lifelong abstinence, but eliminating compulsive use. Some men return to non-problematic use, while others find they no longer want it once underlying issues are resolved.

“What if I’m into something I’m ashamed of?” Pornography use often escalates to content that doesn’t reflect your actual interests. We approach all content without judgment while helping you understand what drove the escalation.

“What if I relapse during treatment?” Relapse is often part of recovery. We treat it as information about what strategies need adjustment rather than as a failure.

What to Expect in Treatment

Initial Assessment

Your first session involves:

• Discussing your pornography use history without judgment.

• Understanding the impact on your life and relationships.

• Assessing any co-occurring issues like depression or anxiety.

• Developing a preliminary treatment plan.

Treatment Structure

Most clients engage in:

• Individual therapy (weekly or bi-weekly)

• Group therapy (weekly)

• Written assignments and behavioral strategies

Confidentiality

All treatment is completely confidential and HIPAA-compliant. What you discuss stays in therapy, within the bounds of state law.

Why Choose Intrapsychic

• Specialized Expertise: 25+ years treating compulsive sexual behavior and pornography addiction.

• Comprehensive Understanding: We understand porn addiction as a complex pattern rooted in attachment disruptions.

• Proven Track Record: Trusted by federal and state courts; contracted by U.S. Federal Probation.

• Convenient Locations: San Diego (Mission Valley) and Vista (North County), plus Telemedicine.

Success Stories

“I’d been using porn daily since I was 13. Dr. Reavis helped me see it was really about avoiding feelings of inadequacy. Once I worked through that, the compulsion just dissolved.” — From T. (Software Engineer)

“I came to therapy to save my marriage, but I ended up saving myself. Understanding the loneliness from my childhood changed everything.” — From K.

Take the First Step

Seeking help for porn addiction takes courage. You’re choosing to address a problem rather than continuing to hide it.

Call (619) 234-7970 to schedule a confidential consultation. Dr. Reavis and his team typically respond to inquiries within 24 hours.

Recovery is possible. Help is available.

Related Services

• Sex Addiction Treatment

• Infidelity Counseling

• Group Therapy

• Psychological Evaluations